The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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