going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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