I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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