For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We named our party play list daddy issues
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
