Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize