What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
