i would punch a child for taco bell
i barfeds in our rink
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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