No awkward lesbian experiences without me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
