grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Randomize
