At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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