i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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