i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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