We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
