there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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