so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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