party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Randomize
