I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
no more duck duck goose at the bar
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
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No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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