Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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