Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize