My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Randomize
