you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
