Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I see more hoeing in ur future
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