Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
