I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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