She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
