My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
