At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
