bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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