Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
