i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Randomize