Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
