I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
