I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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