I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
