Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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