Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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