I have demons in me.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
