Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize