literally had 100 drinks last night.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
