i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
