i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
