i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
tell me about the eggs
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