if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
