she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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