After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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