I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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