I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
