Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
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We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
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My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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