just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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