Don't make out with my wife yet
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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