i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
