he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize