i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
