come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
